"Why Do Black People Always Have to Make It About Race?"

     I was sitting in Walmart the other day, sharing a wicker couch (classy) with an adorable elderly woman as we both waited to have our oil changed. On the couch just next to us were three more seemingly kind people, two gentlemen and a lady, who were also waiting on their vehicles. It appeared I was the only stranger in this group. I chatted politely with the sweet woman with whom I was sharing the couch as we talked celebrity gossip while perusing a copy of In Style.
   
 Not so shortly thereafter, I answered a call from my husband just as a 20-something black man entered the store. The man was wearing a hat and sunglasses, a grill on his teeth, a tank top with basketball shorts, and tall black socks with neon stars and hearts all over them. I giggled to myself as I regarded this “take notice” outfit. My thoughts were quickly interrupted by the two men sitting on the next couch, for as the black man began to walk away from us and into the main part of the store, one of the men held up his hand, forming his finger and thumb into the shape of a gun and pretended to shoot the black man, a thought that seemed to greatly amuse his company. I could feel my whole body start to shake with anger. Immediately, and without explanation, I began trying to sort out his actions in my head, “It was just a joke; he didn’t mean it,” “Maybe it’s because he thought the black man was dressed funny,” “Maybe it was...”
  
  My excuses were immediately squelched as the man pointing his “gun” continued on, “Yeah, I’d like to get that one too!” he said as he pointed and "fired" at another black man in the store, this one wearing some sort of work uniform. The others continued to laugh and help him point out different black people that they, too, felt deserved to be shot. My insides were boiling.
   
 “Hello? Hello?” My husband’s voice regained my attention. “I’m sorry honey, I couldn’t hear you over these IGNORANT RACISTS sitting next to me!” I responded. I brazenly stared into the eyes of the men and woman who were no longer laughing. The older woman sitting next to me buried her face in her magazine. My husband, not wanting me to risk my safety by starting trouble, asked me to please let it go and ignore them. He would fight a bear for me (literally), but he was several states away and knew there was nothing he could do if these people decided to react to my declaration.  I told him I would call him back. The hecklers kept their silence for a while (seriously, HOW LONG does it take to change someone’s oil?!) but eventually couldn’t help themselves and again began hatefully discussing the black patrons who entered the store. The elderly woman next to me shushed them, and I looked over at her, relieved. At least SOMEONE was willing to stand up for what is right. Unfortunately, when I looked over at her, she was not-so-subtly pointing at me as she shushed. While the death threats didn’t phase her, apparently my crazy-lady outburst was more than she could bear.

  Approximately 1,483 minutes later, the Walmart auto department finally finished with my vehicle. The racist idiots managed to keep their comments to themselves for the remainder of the time, which I attribute primarily to my highly potent evil eye which stayed fixed on them, daring them to say another word. As I left, I may or may not have once again expressed my displeasure at the man’s actions with my own attitude and gesture. (Sorry you had to see that, old lady. And sorry to my grandmother who taught me better.) That’s all I’ll say about that...  And so, I was off.

    Now before I say anything else, let me just tell you, I did NOT handle this situation correctly, obviously. I did nothing but stoop to their ignorant, hateful level. I was beyond furious, and I believe my anger came from a righteous place. We SHOULD stand up for people when they are being mistreated or victimized. We SHOULD let people know that for every person that has a hateful or violent thought, there are many more willing to shut them down, regardless of the cost. However, I should NOT have handled it the way I did. I did not submit to the requests my loving husband gave in order to protect me. Most of all, in a situation that could have been glorifying to the Lord, my actions did not point towards Jesus. (Ok, so technically I pointed towards Jesus, but I’m sure it says in the Bible somewhere that it doesn’t count if do it the way I did.)  With all that being said, there are a few things I learned from this situation that I think everyone needs to hear:

Sometimes, it IS about race: Did you notice the first thing I did when the man on the couch pointed his “gun”? I tried to justify it. Why? Seriously, why is that? This was not an overreaction to some man’s “joke”.

He laughed, but he was not joking.

He was not being subtle; he made it clear that he felt that black man and several others should die because of their race.

Plain and simple.

I am constantly hearing things like, “Well, that could be racist, but it also could be...” “Sure that sounded racist, but he or she probably meant...” “That’s just how people are in this town” “Older people are just like that; they aren’t going to change” “Why are black people always making things about race?” For me, I just didn’t want to believe that that kind of hate was real. That kind of hate is not an easy problem to solve. It’s deep and complicated and does not have an easily implemented solution. I can tell those people not to be hateful, and I can strive not to be hateful myself, but the problem is still there. I tried to justify what he did because crass joking is an easier problem to solve than pure evil.
For some people, we justify this kind of behavior because we simply don’t give a shit about black people. Flat out.
You know how I know? Because some of you were just more offended by my use of the word “shit” than by the story about a white man who fantasized about murdering a bunch of strangers because they were black.1 We don’t care. We care about a dead lion, we care about a man who cut off his genitals and put on a dress, we care about our right to fly some flag, but we don’t care that our fellow human beings have legitimate reason to fear for their life. If you were the black man and you had been aware of what was being said about you, wouldn’t you be quick to be defensive in the future? Wouldn’t you always wonder if people who looked at you funny were thinking something hateful? If you said “no”, you are lying to yourself. If we want to show that we love and care about people of all races, we must stop justifying hate.

Sometimes we MUST say something. Look, if you know me, you know I’m mouthy. I’m 5’2”, scrappy, and people rarely have to wonder what I’m thinking. It is almost never a good thing. I often have to quote Proverbs 10:19 to myself, “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” I actively strive to “live peaceably with all” as the Lord instructs us in Romans 12:18, but sometimes, especially as believers, we simply should not remain silent. The Bible tells us countless times to stand up for those who have no voice, for those who are in need, and for those who are oppressed (Proverbs 31:8-9, Isaiah 1:17, Psalm 82:3, Proverbs 25:26). We see Jesus stand up for the oppressed and mistreated repeatedly throughout the New Testament. If someone, black, white, young, old, likable, annoying, is being mistreated, we must be empowered and stand up for them, even if it brings trouble on ourselves. A lot of people would say to just sit there and ignore them, but if THIS isn’t worth speaking up about, what is?
Our culture thinks that speaking up means ranting about our cause on social media, but it’s all just a bunch of noise until we live it out in person.
No one is afraid of internet-you. We are not brave behind a computer screen. We can use social media to speak truth and spread love, but it means nothing if it stops there. Speaking our beliefs is nothing if we don’t DO our beliefs.

 Vengeance is the Lord’s With all that being said, there is a right way and a wrong way to stand up for others. We stand up for others because Christ stands up for us. If the way we, ahem, I, stand up for others doesn’t remind people of what Jesus did at the cross, I’ve done it wrong. I have contemplated why I did what I did that day (I feel like an idiot thinking back on it), and it was because I wanted those people to feel the same hate they were exuding and I wanted them to be afraid just like the victims of racism have to be. That’s called a thirst for vengeance. But, here’s the thing: it wasn’t my job to make them feel the pain and fear that they inflicted on others. Rather, that moment was an opportunity to say that what they were doing was wrong, stand up for the person being persecuted, and share the unconditional love of Jesus. Vengeance belongs to God alone (Leviticus 19:18, 2 Timothy 1:7, Romans 12:19-20). I wish I could tell you exactly what that moment in Walmart should have looked like. It’s something I’m still not sure of, but I do know this: I was not prepared. I was so overcome with anger and so unprepared to share the love of Jesus that I failed miserably. The Bible says we need to be prepared in season and out of season to share the love of Christ. If you don’t know how you would have reacted in the same situation, welcome to the boat. Let’s plan how we can stand up for others and share Jesus’s love, even with those who seem most unlovable.

We have to stick together, always. I am idealistic enough to believe that many of you who are reading this are just a furious as me. Call me naive, but I KNOW we are the majority. The world is coming at us from all sides trying to divide us. The powers that be would like to vilify our differences and tear us apart. That’s what sells. That’s what keeps people watching, “liking”, commenting, and sharing.  Rainbows and butterflies don’t bring in the money. Through all of the noise, we have to recognize when we’re being manipulated and remember that we stand TOGETHER.

“White” people: If a black person feels that they were mistreated because of their race, believe them. Love them. Show them that you will not do the same. Empower them to be strong in the midst of persecution and to rise above the adversity. Tell them that they are not alone because you love them, and most importantly, Jesus loves them. When the media or your friends try to tell you that a person must be bad based on something trivial and inconsequential (ahem, where one wears one’s pants) block out the noise. People can look, talk, and act differently than us without deserving a negative label. Recognize the subtle ways we do not show love to our brothers and sisters: crass joking, perpetuating stereotypes, judging all based on one, and strive to  remove those actions from your own life. We can’t control the idiots who cling to ignorance, but we can change ourselves. We must.

Black people: If a white person says they love you and do not see you any differently because of your race, believe them. Not all white people are like those idiots. There are many black leaders who would have you believe that they are. These leaders are not doing you any favors. No one makes it onto the news for being sensible. The men and women who want to tell you that all white people are born prejudice and can never understand you are trying to use you to perpetuate strife and propel themselves to fame. Don’t let them make you their tool. You are loved. You are not alone. When some person says something insensitive or careless to you, remind them that you are a child of God and that Jesus loves you... and them.


My heart is aching. How long will the disease of racism plague us? Let’s become the cure.