Chapter 3: The Spark

May 30th, 2012

The smell of my exquisite culinary masterpiece fills my car as I pull up to his house.

Ok, so it's just homemade Mexican food, but still, it smells pretty dang good! 

It's been a while since I've seen Isaac. We've both been tying up loose ends at work, so free time is a hot commodity. Luckily, school is finally out for me! Isaac's been preparing for his end of year pop show with his choir students, and even though he doesn't let on, I can tell he's feeling a little stressed. Despite his workload, he invited me over to watch some scary movie tonight. So, here I am, standing at his door holding a pink file crate full of hot food that I've made just for him.

After our last date, I knew that I was beginning to develop feelings for the straight-shooting 6'4" choir director/hunter/fisherman/chef/opera-singer/who-knows-what-else guy. He is more than just a man of many hats; he was a man who clearly loves God and His people.

And still, I can't help but ask myself, what about the butterflies? You know, that wonderful, bubbly feeling you get in the pit of your stomach every time HE comes around. That spark of attraction that stirs your heart so deeply it causes a physical reaction, where is that? Am I being unrealistic? The Lord has convicted me in the past of being too reliant on and/or driven by emotions, and maybe those things are just "teenager stuff" anyway. Regardless of this (perhaps trivial) inner-struggle, there is something in me that believes I am meant to continue dating Isaac and see where God leads us.

Sharing a meal together is pleasant, as always. We chat about our day, discuss his upcoming show, flirt, laugh, and play. We've only known each other for a short time, but being with him is so comfortable.

As we move over to the couch, I whimsically ponder to myself if he'll try to hold my hand or kiss me for the first time.  I mean, he DID invite me to a scary movie; that's guy code for "I want a chance to put my arm around you", right? And saying "yes" to this invitation was my girl code for "no matter how much this movie stinks, I'll at least pretend to be scared so you can 'protect' me"... right? I quickly snap myself back to reality, feeling slightly embarrassed to be a 24-year-old entertaining such immature musings.

He sits at the end of the couch and I sit in the middle, right next to him. He pushes play, and The Devil Inside begins playing.

A real winner!
Not.

 About a half hour into the movie, I feel him reach to put his arm around me. I turn slightly, resting my back against his torso and putting my bare feet up on the other end of the couch. Somehow, I seem to fit perfectly in this Christina-shaped cutout created by his arm and body. That feeling of comfort mixed with happiness washes over me again.

And then, it happens.

*Now, just a disclaimer, I feel completely ridiculous writing about this part, because I KNOW how foolish and lame it sounds. Nevertheless, with Isaac's permission, I have resolved to tell our story, and this was a major part of it, for me, at least.*

After sinking in to the comfort of Isaac's embrace, I reach my hand over and put it on his knee. We continue watching the (horrible and creepy) movie for a while when he reaches over and grabs my hand. He holds it tightly for a while and then begins to gently trace circles on the inside of my wrist with the tips of his fingers. I don't know why, but this simple act causes me to melt into a puddle! My stomach fills with butterflies and it feels as though bolts of electricity are running through my entire body. It is nothing short of fantastic.

Meanwhile, back at my pituitary gland:
-"General, we have hand-to-hand contact."
-"Thanks, Lieutenant. ALRIGHT PEOPLE, we have hand-to-hand contact! This is not a drill! Cue the palm sweat! Sergeant, get me the adrenal glands on the phone, we need a racing heartbeat!"
-"Pardon me, sir, but don't you think this is a bit much? I mean, he's just--"
-"That's enough out of you, soldier. WHERE IS THE AWKWARD SHAKING? Somebody is falling down on the job!"

I feel my legs and arms completely stiffen. My toes begin to hug each other. It feels like every muscle I have is inching its way towards my wrist, so that they can be the lucky ones feeling this exciting touch. If Isaac knew the effect this was having on me, he would probably realize what a weirdo I am and run in the other direction. Thankfully, I think I'm doing a pretty good job at playing it cool.

"Are you ok?"

Issac's voice interrupts my concerted efforts to act natural.

"Um...ya... I mean, why? I mean, I'm good. You? Is there water here?"

Smooth.

I take a deep breath and turn to look at him. It only makes things worse; I mean, better; I mean, AAAHHH!!! He looks down into my eyes and smiles sweetly at me, completely oblivious to my internal absurdity. He leans in and kisses me gently. For a moment, I become, if it's even possible, even more stiffened, and then, I feel all of the tension in my muscles completely fall away as I blissfully sink in to our first kiss.

The only way I can think to describe it is that his face was like a pillow. Now, I know how that sounds, but it wasn't a pillow in the sense that it was all fluffy and squishy. No, it was... Well, you know that feeling at the end of the day when you get home from work or school and you're just EXHAUSTED? All you want to do is go to sleep, so you climb in bed and rest your head on your pillow and it's just the most amazing feeling you've had in what feels like forever? It feels like this, laying here on your pillow, was what you were made to be doing, and you wish you never had anything else to do but this, forever. AND, what makes it even better is that it's YOUR pillow. Other people's pillows are just not the same. Yours is the best; it's comfortable and wonderful. If you've ever felt that, you can understand what I mean when I say his face was like my pillow.

"You're kind of good at that." I say stupidly.

"You too." he replies, chuckling.

"I guess the past week or so, I have been doubting myself and where I stand with you, Isaac. I'm pretty good at reading people, but sometimes you're a question mark to me."

"What? Why?"

"Well, you don't text me very often." I immediately realize how thin the basis of my concerns has been. "I guess I just thought if you were interested, you'd text me more."

And this is the moment when the Isaac-ness that I like so much comes out again: the part where he never leaves me guessing or wondering because real men don't need to play games like that to keep a woman interested. "I guess I'm not much of a texter, but rest assured, I am extremely interested in you. I will not waste your time by asking you out if I'm not interested. I want to be in a relationship with you." (For the record, he's texted me everyday since this exchange).

It was a sweet night. We ended up hanging out and talking for several more hours after this amazing moment. Although we had technically only been seeing each other, we officially declared ourselves "exclusive," which in the online dating world means we deleted our profiles. haha. We talked about past loves and mistakes, our beliefs about dating and romantic relationships, and boundaries that we felt were biblical and appropriate for our relationship. What a wonderful night!

~Chapter 4 Coming Soon~

Once again, if you've made it this far, I've left you a few little treats.

Video filled with awkward pics explaining the pituitary gland

Boy and girl humor

Political Piety

Remember When I Started a Blog a Year Ago?


Clearly, my undergraduate years were spent grossly underestimating the time-consumption of teaching within the public school system. Nonetheless, it's probably better this way, because now I'm one year older and wiser (somewhat against my will)!


So this morning I was reading an article written by Bill King of the Houston Chronicle assessing the behaviors of Christians in regards to pushing political agendas. I thought it was pretty insightful.  He basically describes two extreme types of believers: the closed vault cowardly christian who never speaks of his faith, and the loud mouth jerk who tries to shove christianity down everyone's throats via political infiltration. King says, and I agree, that a biblical christian falls under neither extreme.


The article, along with some of my own studies on the matter, has led me to come to a few conclusions:


Jesus loves PEOPLE, not politics.

**Let's be honest, many Christians, including myself, are arguing so hard politically because we have been lazy spiritually. If people don't know Jesus, it's the church's fault, not the government's. It's time to take responsibility, because the blame game is getting us nowhere. **

King says it this way, "But [Jesus] also adamantly refused to start a political movement. He famously tossed the Pharisees' Roman coins back at them, telling them to "render unto Caesar what is Caesar's." He declared before Pilate that his kingdom was not of this world. He did not form any political action committees or hold any political prayer rallies. He did not foment revolution or cozy up to officialdom. He did not lobby lawmakers to legislate the people's morality. Instead he appealed directly to our better nature, seeking to change hearts, not laws." 
This is not to, in any way, say that our Messiah did not create some waves during His physical time here. However, his focus was not to change the government, it was to change people. I've said this before, and I'll probably say it a million more times: NO ONE truly changes their heart or mind because a complete stranger is screaming hateful and belittling remarks about their belief system at them. It.does.not.happen. Speaking as a representative of the population of overly stubborn people, if anything, this kind of behavior only makes my own resolution stronger and closes my ears to any future discussions on the given topic. 


Even a perfunctory knowledge of history will tell you that forcing religion via government is ineffective. 
This is true for many reasons, but this I believe to be the primary.
A change of governmental policy does not necessarily indicate the change of a politician's heart on the matter. It certainly does not guarantee an invocation of compliance on the part of the masses. Instead, religion imposed by government breeds bitterness and resentment as well as stirring the rebellious nature within our hearts to which we all, as fallen people, are prone. The book of Romans says that it's God's kindness that leads us to repentance. 1 John 4:19 says that the only reason we love God is because he first LOVED us. Ultimately, it's the Holy Spirit's revelation of God's goodness that changes hearts. 


So, what should we do?
(I'll just say that as I was reading the King article, I had multiple tabs open and accidentally switched to a "Reasons to Neuter" page. Had I not caught this mistake, the following insights may have been VERY different.)


1. Know the truth. Read the Bible. Ask God to show you people the way He sees them. Repeat as needed. 


2. Focus on the people, not the policies. 
This is not to say you should endorse political agendas that spit in the face of biblical truths, but remember that poor governmental policies are often a reflection of a heart problem. If you despise abortion, stop yelling at your senator, and go love a pregnant girl. If you think gay marriage is extra-biblical, care for your gay friends. Love them. Treat them like people because that's what they are.  Dwell on the Bible's definition of true religion: "If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless. Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." James 1:26-27

3. Understand what love means, BIBLICALLY. 
Keep in mind, BIBLICAL love does NOT mean that you just tell people whatever they want to hear (what scripture calls "tickling the ears" 2 Tim 4:3) but rather that you are truthful with people in a loving way. (Ephesians 4:15) Coddling people's feelings is not more important than honoring and loving God Himself. 


4. Put down your picket signs and go to work! 
My question is how a person would possibly have time to take care of their family well, spend time with the Lord daily, love and help the lost and/or needy, AND cause an uproar about politics. I suppose if you have time to do it all well and to the glory of God, then more power to you, but if any of the other areas are suffering, prioritize. The Bible says that this is how we make a real difference: "And to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one." 1 Thess. 4:11-12 


Chron. Article: http://www.chron.com/default/article/King-An-assessment-of-being-a-Christian-at-2418713.php

Mark Driscoll's- The Tolerance Rant